I’ve become curious about NVC again after receiving some feedback on a piece I wrote for a new book. The feedback, I should point out, was less than complimentary. And it made me think again – are we as trainers of communication skills for adult professionals getting our clients to think strongly enough about NVC issues, and are we sufficiently qualified to provide the right kind of feedback?
I guess we know that NVC is an important part of the communication process. We’ve probably all quoted at some time ‘that quote’ which claims that the verbal makes up around 7% of the message and the non-verbal 93%. The percentages are fairly spurious but there’s no denying that things like facial expression, tone of voice, movement, posture, dress and even aspects such as height and skin colour are going to contribute significantly to how our messages are received.
So how do we deal with all of this in the ELT classroom when participants arrive wanting words and grammar? My usual route is to introduce it as a discussion topic – fluency practice – posing questions which serve to clarify the scope of the topic itself, arouse interest, and create a framework for ongoing reflection and feedback. I usually start by discussing four key areas of NVC using a number of questions to stimulate reflection.
1. Dress and appearance
We need to become sensitive to the fact that the way we appear physically to others and how we present ourselves in terms of dress will generate positive / negative interpretations which will affect how people listen to us.
Questions
What is your preferred dress code? Why?
What do people think about you when they see you at work?
2. Place and space
Human beings are territorial and mark and protect their space in all manner of ways. Explore that sentence with students and then ask a few more questions:
Questions
What does your office desk tell people about you?
How do you monitor and manage the space between you and other people? For example, how do you know if you’re standing too close or too far? What is too close for you?
And what about virtual space – are you more effective when people are close to you in the office or located on the other side of the world? Or no difference?
3. Body language
Body language has many dimensions. Take a look at the following list with examples. Which of the example behaviours do you see as positive and which negative? Why?
Gesture: pointing with a single finger, clenching a fist, giving a thumbs-up sign.
Eye contact: maintaining gaze for a long period, looking down.
Facial expressions: smiling, having one’s mouth open when eating, closing one’s eyes when listening.
Posture: standing facing other people, sitting with one’s feet on the desk, holding one’s hand in front of one’s mouth.
Touch: shaking hands firmly, hugging, patting someone on the back, placing an arm round someone’s shoulder.
Movement: walking quickly, nodding when listening, shaking the head strongly from side to side to indicate you disagree.
4. Paralanguage
The speed at which people talk, the volume of their voice and the kind of tone which comes across (soft or hard, friendly or critical etc.) will affect how others listen and hear. High speed may be heard as nervousness; it may be heard as dynamic. Loud volume may be heard as arrogant, or may come across as confident.
Questions
What impact does your voice and general delivery have on others?
Which aspects of your voice do you think you most need to improve? Why? How can you do it?
The general approach is explorative. It’s not saying that there is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ body NVC, simply that NVC exists, we all do it and we need to be aware how to generate more positive impacts and minimize any negative impacts with our behaviours. What do you think?
BOB DIGNEN is a director of York Associates. He specialises in intercultural skills programmes and international team seminars which he delivers to clients in Germany, Switzerland, Iceland and Sweden. He is accredited to use The International Profiler (an intercultural profiling tool) and is also an advanced practitioner of TMP (Team Management Profile – an international team profiling tool). As an author, he worked on English365 for Cambridge University Press and has written 50 ways to improve your Presentation Skills in English. He is also co-author of Developing People Internationally, a multimedia international team training resource.
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